C-19: On Experiencing Emotions

Rumi’s poem The Guest House uses the image of a house to represent a person, while house guests are different emotions that people experience. Rumi encourages curiosity about what each “guest” may bring and reminds us that each guest is temporary.

It’s a great poem, although the imagery of guests coming in and crowding a home is strange given our current experience of not inviting people over to our homes.

Rumi’s poem has gifts for us now, even though the imagery has changed. First, when we see our emotions as guests, it helps to not take them on as an identity. For instance, notice if there is a difference between saying, “I am angry” and “I feel angry.” The second statement implies that the anger is coming in because of mood, biology, or situation as opposed to the first statement which implies that we are the emotion or that we are an angry person. While it can seem like a small distinction, these statements can become patterns and impact how we see ourselves in relation to emotional experiences.

When we notice that we are feeling an emotion, we can be reminded that this is a temporary and human experience. That this emotion will arrive, take up some space, and eventually go. There is an end or a shift to emotions. This concept is so important for distress tolerance, especially when we may be experiencing more repetition in our lives by social distancing or sheltering in place.

And seeing emotions as guests helps us to see them as something outside of us that we can interact with, question, observe, or address. If I feel angry or sad, I can be queued to check-in about a situation. For instance, i may be feeling impatient because I haven’t eaten a meal yet and am “hangry.”

In these times of the pandemic, it is so normal to have all kinds of emotions come up. We are doing things differently while facing a crisis and not having the same ease to our coping skills. We are in closer quarters with others (if we live with others) or we are noticing the challenges of living alone if we do. One gift that we can give ourselves is to identify and observe each emotion, knowing it is part of this normal human experience in extraordinary times.

See you tomorrow.

http://www.sagemindfulness.com/blog/rumi-s-poem-the-guest-house