COVID-19: A note on connection and empathy

With the ever changing closures in our communities, I have been pleased with the ways that people are finding ways to connect and let folks know, “I’m here for you.” It is so touching to see neighbors reach out with texts, calls, video calls, Next Door posts offering to get items for folks from stores. Houses of worship are stepping online. DJ Mel is hosting Living Room Dance Parties on Facebook.

Matt the Electrician, one of my favorite local musicians, did a virtual concert tonight on Facebook. It was lovely to hear his voice and get the concert experience through my phone. In lyrics to his song It’s a Beacon, It’s a Bell, Matt sang the line, “When my heart got bigger, I could see you bigger.” It’s one of my favorite lines, and I enjoyed hearing it tonight, especially thinking about how we are all needing the connection and empathy that comes with being able to see each other better. Stress makes us go inward and see fewer possibilities, but connection and empathy buoy our mental health.

Stepping back to the nervous system: it is totally normal to be in fight, flight, and freeze and those experiences can cut us off from social connection and seeing others. For example, when someone cuts a person off in traffic, we might label that person an “idiot”out of a fight response before we see them sheepishly wave and realize they are an imperfect human as well. We exhale and let our nervous system release a little bit. We might wave back and even remember times when we’ve made driving mistakes, too.

So, while we are all going to run through a lot of different states during this pandemic, we can also remember to think about how this pandemic is part of the human experience and we are all going through it. We can have empathy and wonder about our immuno-compromised folks (there are a lot of folks in this category), those with limited transportation, those with a small business that has already been hit hard, those worried about relatives far away, those who have upcoming medical procedures or are giving birth soon…the list goes on. Our hearts can get bigger and we can take the time to slow down, reach out, and see others better. And sharing empathy is a buoy for our mental and emotional health.

Human beings really want to get away from pain (physical or emotional). It is one of our biggest motivators. We are also motivated to help others. I think empathy leads us to better connection and can help us to understand how we can help. One way we can help is to limit physical movement and in-person contact right now. While this can be a challenging experience for us, we are helping others by social distancing, in ways that we might never know. I appreciated the tweet on the right side of this post:

Be creative in how we reach out, while keeping folks safe.

See you tomorrow.